Bohiggsian Rhapsody

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Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landscape,
No escape from string theory.

Open your eyes,
Look to CERN and see,
I'm just a light Higgs, I need no symmetry,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Any scale the stop sits doesn't really matter to me, to me.

SUSY, just killed a model,
Put a cut against background,
Passed my trigger, placed my bounds.
SUSY, life had just begun,
But now I'm done excluding all the way.

SUSY, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you die,
If I'm not back at FCC tomorrow,
Carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters.

Too late, my time has come,
Sends anthropics down my mind,
Mass is tuning all the time.
Goodbye, everybody, I've got to go,
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth.

SUSY, ooh,
I don't want you to die,
I wish you'd never unified at all.

I see a wee anomaly ~~~~~~ of a B,
(A)nomaly, (A)nomaly, will you be the Standard Model?
Statistics and data,
Very, very frightening to me.
(Galileo) Galileo.
(Galileo) Galileo,
Galileo Figaro
Machine-learn-it-it-it-it-it.

I'm just a poor B, nobody loves me.
He's just a poor B from a flavour family,
Spare him his life from this anomaly.

Easy come, easy go, will you get into Les Houches
B-meson! No, we will not let you go. (Let him go!)
B-meson! We will not let you go. (Let him go!)
B-meson! We will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
Never let you go
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh, mia meson, mia meson (mia meson, let me go.)
B-leptoquarks has a U1 put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you keep only stops and split SUSY up hiiiigh
So we want UED but can't compactifyyyy
Oh LHC can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get bounds just gotta get bounds from the Hiiiggs

Five percent is atoms
Rest we cannot see
There's meant to be dark matter 
Or gravity is messed up. Maybeeeeeeeeeee. 

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